"Normal" Pain

There is a lot happening in the world right now. But just because I can acknowledge that doesn’t mean I feel any closer to finding my place in things than I did four months ago.

I sometimes try to tell myself that I am an old hand at dealing with crisis, or a well-seasoned griever. Maybe I am. But I think that knowing that is only thing you can really get good at. Being prepared to have no control in a hard situation. I never really get better at “not feeling” pain, it’s just that you get better at processing it sooner rather than trying to deny it or living in shock for so long. I suppose it’s a bleak thing to be good at. But it doesn’t really matter if you know how to feel pain, because when it comes, you will still feel it.

Pain may come in many different forms, use different tools like fear, lack of control, physical pain, rejection, isolation, loneliness, loss, or presentation of something negative, but it is still just pain. And that is something we all have in common. It may come in different times, in more-or-less traumatic ways, or for different lengths of time, but we all feel it. It is all real to us. It is never really something that anyone can compare to each other, because to each person’s pain is just pain.

I know sometimes people will try to outdo by expressing what they have been through to the extreme, even beyond the healthy amount for them, or I know there are some who no matter how much they hurt will always feel ashamed for not being perfect and sucking it up because they know someone else in the world is hurting more. But guess what. We all have a right to love, which means will all feel pain. And we all have a right to hurt, because if we do not hurt at whatever level and in whatever way we hurt, we will never recover and grow stronger. It’s only when we allow ourselves the pain, not living their forever, but also not setting our clock by someone else’s timepiece, that we can actually contribute in a healthy way to those around us again.

The world is always changing, sometimes we are just more aware of it than others. We are always making ourselves a new normal, because no normal is never here to stay. It is fluid and ongoing. Be gracious to yourself and to others. Do not expect everyone’s needs and methods of processing to be the same. Hold on to hope. Remember that life is just a prequel to eternity and what we choose here is to set up the greatest of love stories ever told. Be patient because God says to. Be patient because Jesus is. Be gracious because you need it. Be kind because Jesus loves laughter. Think about the needs of others before the things you want. Cry because it waters the seeds inside you. And eat chocolate or take a nap, because its not just ok to be nice to yourself, it’s needed.